The beauty of being a woman and a man

One day my boyfriend’s friend told my boyfriend that I had been talking about him with his girlfriend. Things were not good between us, so I confided in my friend who later on told her boyfriend what I had said. The boyfriend out of concern told his friend. My boyfriend came to me furious asking why I was spreading bad rumors about him and why I could not keep things to myself. So we quarreled for a while until I said to him “babe I’m a woman, when things go bad I need someone to talk to.” That’s when he just went silent and argued no further.

This is the point I realized something, there is a distinct beauty in being a woman! And the opposite is true. Being feminine and them being masculine. Having features that differentiate us, its not essential to announce that I am a woman but my curves, my step, the swing on my body, the bun I did on my hair, among others say it all. Somebody once asked me if you were given one day to be a man what I would do. I thought of all the things I would try to make other men realize and change. Men are arrogant, egoistic, proud, and ignorant, those are the stereotypes associated with being a man, but that’s the beauty of being a man! Women can be paranoid, insecure, too over-protective, fragile, emotional, irrational, territorial…..That’s the beauty of being a woman! Though we may resent each other at times, God created this pull between men and women that no human can explain. The need to complete and be completed, thats the beauty!!

Have you ever noticed, if there is a topic that can go on for hours and hours with women it’s about how men are so wicked and ruthless. But at the end of the talk those are the same men we go back to. That’s the beauty in it that at the end you say nevertheless he is a man. Women spend so much time trying to figure out what’s wrong with men and what needs fixing on them to the point they don’t see that if those men weren’t so “masculine” some of them their womanhood would be undefined. What makes him a man is what makes you a woman! Men sometimes criticize the weakness in women and forget that that’s what makes them to be labelled as strong. Since mankind began it has been a battle between men and women, who is what where, I can do what you can do. Instead we should be appreciating our differences, that when the other is weak the other manages to hold the fort down. Accept the ego, the pride, the irrationality, the paranoia because that what makes us all unique and beautiful. They are not excuses but it’s just the magnificence in us!!!th

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Momentary Beauty

200f9090fbb7f19281d747012c95d433 Lately I have been to two weddings, and on those days I couldn’t recognise people. The brides were worse, the make up, hairstyles, jewellery and dresses just made them look different. I remember one bride as she was still at a distance covered with the veil we were all wondering if it was her and we had come to the wrong wedding because she looked totally different. As she approached then we realised it was her. It was not just the brides that looked different, the grooms too, with the slim fit suits, expensive looking shoes, fancy socks and ties and neat looking haircuts. The bridemaids looked like they were competing with the bride, and the grooms you could see these were extreme makeovers. Us the guests, some had bought new dresses, I remember I bought my full makeup kit towards the days. People were just looking stunning on these two days.

As the second wedding finished I looked at the crowd and I wondered how many were going to maintain that beauty from the brides to us the guests. It seemed it was just momentary beauty, a beauty that comes because of the occasion……. If you notice when people go for dates, parties, weddings or dinners the way they look instills a certain attitude. It makes people feel good, important and beautiful for that moment. Even the way they talk changes beacuse they are trying to match the voice with the look. Imagine if you could dress like that, put make up like that, or get a hair cut like that through out the year that means you would feel good the whole year.On wedding nights man and woman experience their “first time” and its all connected to the way they look that day. Im not saying wear your wedding gown everyday but keep the spirit of the look continuing, find an alternative everyday look that will still make you feel like your wedding day! I dont know about you but I would like to keep that feeling I felt that day.  Change this momentary beauty to an everyday look….. If it worked once, it can work again!!

What should represent you first?

Last week a big pimple came out on my nose. It was so big someone 10 steps away could see something was going on with my nose. I tried to cover it with my usual make up but its redness just kept on showing until I gave up and just decided to leave it like that. Yesterday I then went to visit someone’s residence for some business and in that room there is a boy about 5 years younger than me who has a crush on me. I told my friend to knock the room and enter as I wait outside. I told her I didn’t want the boy to annoy me but the real reason was I didn’t want  the boy  to see the pimple and think otherwise of me. but immediately as the boy saw my friend he jumped up and asked about me and when he was told I was outside he ran outside. I quickly looked way and acted disgusted by him while turning my face away so that he may feel like he is bothering me and leave. But he kept on persisting, until I couldn’t look away anymore. When he saw my face he starred at me with eyes that were saying what the…? I could feel his eyes poking my nose. Then he quickly turned and said he is coming back he had forgotten something. Well I knew the pimple had made him run back and think twice.

I was left standing there and my heart in pain. Now I was wondering that a pimple can make someone’s feelings go away just like that? I didn’t feel like proceeding with our business endeavour because it required us knocking every door. Everywhere I knocked everybody would stare at my nose. I felt so embarrassed.

In all that wondering I realised something. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and usually get those pimples almost once every month during my cycle. The first time it came out he plainly asked what had caused it and I explained and ever since he never cancels our plans or his love because I have a pimple on my nose. For me that was so amazing and intriguing but also it made me realise his goals for me and how much he valued me.

Always remember if you present your physical beauty first before anything else know that for the rest of that

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period you will be judged by your physical beauty. When it ends expect some people to walk away……

Simple Words

AAfaJCoI went to the director’s office to drop some documents and on the reception I was met by this other lady. Then she asked me what my name was and I told her, then my nationality and I told her. Then she said to me you are beautiful……. I smiled…. not smiled but grinned and said thank you. That just made me realise how I had been longing to hear such words. They might have not come from someone close or I expected but still in my heart they went a long way.

Its funny how three words can change your world within a few seconds, because I got out of that office so happy and not caring what other people thought. It might be ” I love you”, ” I miss you”, “well done” or “I’m sorry”, don’t hold back those words if you feel like saying them because to someone that’s all they are waiting for.

What’s funny is its been a month since that lady spoke to me but ever since that day I make it a point to look stunning no matter where I am going or the circumstances surrounding me. Yesterday I met a friend of mine and she asked me about my fiancé and I told her we had broken up and then she asked me in amazement how I was looking so good since people are expected to break down after such. I just told her I refused for the situation to pull me down but inside I knew the words that lady had said to me had created a new attitude and approach to life in me.

Who defines your beauty??

butterflyFor the past few days I have been going through moments of loneliness because a person very important to me has not been giving me the attention I usually I get. His reason is valid and I understood but the lack of his attention triggered something inside. I realised it had even affected the way I was dressing, doing my hair and talking to people. But as I was walking I was asking myself so does it mean this persons’ attention makes me beautiful? I was now wearing whatever came to my mind and just tying my hair and putting less make up and failing to walk upright. The outward appearance was also reflecting on how I was feeling inside.

I believe I’m not the only person who feels like this at times. But the question is should your beauty be determined by other people?? I realised I was being too hard on myself and learnt that you will never be fulfilled by looking good for other people but you need to learn to look good for you first before taking it to other people. This will help in such a way that even when others do not appreciate your beauty you have already appreciated yourself. Know who you are because self evaluation also contributes. So don’t let others determine how you look, when you will be happy or what you enjoy!!!

Inner beauty vs Physical beauty

A teenage girl writing beauty on a mirror in lipstick

Do you like what you see?

I did a research, asked a lot of people what they would rather have inner beauty or physical beauty. Most people said inner beauty. And they defined inner beauty as having peace, love, kindness, happiness etc. But one person said she would rather physical beauty “to cover the ugliness of inner man”. That’s when I realised most people have hid behind having inner beauty because nobody can search that. But know that inner beauty and physical beauty correspond. That’s why for example a woman who is going through a heartbreak will dress in any way and forget to put make up because looking beautiful at that moment won’t correspond with what’s happening inside. So instead exercise both inner beauty and physical beauty and feel whole!!!

Beauty factors…

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Beauty can be enhanced by several factors.  Beauty depends on your hair, your dressing, your make-up, and even the time of day.”-by Dag Heward-Mills. And yet not many of us know this because we tend to focus on one element and neglect the rest. For example you love your hair more than everything else on your body and spend time and money on it and forget the importance of dressing good, putting appropriate make up or regularly polishing your nails…..So in maintaining your beauty you maintain all the elements…